What's the meaning "FRIENDS"?

Is everyone got their true friends in this world?Maybe some people thought there is,but for me,there's not.Maybe I like to think a lots,even there's nothing happen but I used to think a lots,sometimes really feel tired with my life.In the year 2008,I'm a girl which was "happy go lucky",but in the year 2009,I felt that in my life,that I thought she's or they are my besty,but now?Not anymore.Or maybe I lost contact with them,or maybe we're in different environment now,or maybe I'm not good in communication or maybe,I don't even like to communicate with others?I don't know..But I think maybe is my thinking,I'm too protect my self..I want to tell my secret to them,but then now I felt that can't anymore.I really don't know what to said with this topic,last time I'm really thankful to them because they used to help me,but now..I'm really tired with my life,my mind cant stop thinking even a moment although I haven't start my studies yet.Feel like in my life,there are lots of stuff was waiting for me to do and whatever.Tired,I'm tired with money,studies and also my life.I got no idea with this topic,by the way,what I want to says is,I don't think I got friends now and I don't belive friendship in the world.I felt that,there's only one friends is always for me,she will find me and call me,tell me and teached me,that's only Lilian.I got another one too,she's a friend which I knew her from primary one until now,she's Sin Ying,but then...she's a good listener,I got no comment with her,and I used to tell her all m secret last time,after 17th Dec 2009,1230am,I felt that there's no more true friends in this world.No one can tell secret,can share what's in my mind and so on,maybe..In my future life,god want me to be alone..Doesn't know when is the day come,when is the day for me to close my eyes and I wont know everything and what's going on in the next to me...